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Bridal Funny Shit
05 August 2019
We’re all used to seeing stories of brides who turn into an absolute nightmare when they’re planning their wedding. Heck, there are entire television series dedicated to the hot messes we affectionately call Bridezillas. But have you ever been to a wedding where it was a guest who went into meltdown? We trawled the internet for some of the wildest stories and eloping in Vegas has never sounded better.
No, we’re not going to recount the plot of Bride Wars but this story comes seriously close to the 2009 romcom, minus the double wedding at The Plaza.
Last summer, Reddit user Yazdon attended the wedding of his cousin and new cousin-in-law, “Emma”. The evening was perfect until the end when Emma’s bridesmaid, “Sarah” decided to announce her own engagement during the speeches.
Yikes.
“The attention was immediately taken away from the newlyweds and brought to the bridesmaid and her equally-smug fiancé…[Emma] didn’t make a scene or utter a single negative word about Sarah. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but she kept grinning and acted very happy for the other couple”.
Emma was obviously fuming though because when the time came for Sarah’s wedding, Emma had thoroughly planned her revenge (and roped in the help of all the other bridesmaids).
“Emma switched out the white petals in [flower girls’] baskets to blue ones she had secretly brought with her..Sarah looked very confused upon seeing the blue petals (which didn’t coordinate whatsoever with her theme), but of course she didn’t say anything. [However], the wedding planner ended up getting a lot of abuse for not checking the flower girls’ baskets before they walked down the aisle.”
“Then, at the very end, Emma said to Sarah that she must be wondering why there were blue petals instead of the white ones originally planned. That was when Emma displayed the last slide from her [bridesmaid’s] presentation. Emma announced in front of everyone that she was five months pregnant and that the baby was a boy, hence the blue petals”. Boom, mic drop.
Our heroine, Emma, was escorted out of the reception by the bride’s mother but not before Sarah threw a fit.
You know who you don’t expect to hog the spotlight at your wedding? Your mum. Unfortunately for Redditor Blueskies2day, her mum had another idea.
When Blueskies2day called her Mum to tell her her boyfriend was planning on proposing in May, naturally old Mumsy wanted to celebrate with a nice dinner.
“During the dinner,” writes Blueskies2day, “Mum announced that she was marrying her boyfriend of 2 months…and they would be getting married in May [when] my fiancé would be proposing to me, and announcing our engagement to my extended family”.
But it didn’t end there.
“Mum would be using our September destination wedding date as a honeymoon for her and Phillip. So our engagement would become their wedding, and our wedding would become their honeymoon”.
“A bloke friend of mine had to give the best man (groomsman) speech. He was absolutely trolleyed, staggered to his feet and said “I’ve got fuck all to say” and sat down again,” wrote Anonymous.
Surely, the bride and groom knew what they were getting themselves into when they chose him.
“I accidentally started a fire at the reception,” confesses Redditor sssasssafrasss.
“I stood up to go get more beer and threw my napkin onto the table as I did. When I got to the door of the hall (beer was in a keg outside), someone screamed. I turned back to look, and it was the woman across from me screaming at a two-foot-tall pile of flames! Apparently, I had unknowingly thrown a part of my napkin onto the candle in the middle of the table. When I made it to the door, it wooshed up in flames”.
Classically, instead of owning their mistake sssasssafrasss kept heading out the back to be as far away from the scene of the crime as possible.
“When I came back, my mum had put it out. The bride used the microphone to ask everyone to put out their candles and gave me a really dirty look”. Busted.
“My cousin got married at a country club, and my uncle took advantage of the open bar”, writes Anonymous. “[He] got hammered, and peed off the balcony outside in plain view of everyone inside, and he didn’t seem to notice there was an outdoor dining area on the ground floor below”.
Sometimes it pays to draw the line with family invitees.
Stories collated by Emma Roffey.
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